West Coast Sojourn 8: White girl, wasted

Late in the game, I have something to say about Taylor Swift and—against all odds—it's actually not annoying

Photo by J Dean on Unsplash

One of the reasons that USA Today has developed a reporting beat strictly devoted to covering Taylor Swift is that she’s an economy until herself. That economy has grown into a big enough whale that it has animals feeding off of it. CNN’s new documentary Taking on Taylor Swift was made by these small new creatures.

Let it be known that I’m at best middling on Swift—admiring of her ability to fit herself into most pop genres, unmoved by the music as I’m not in her demographic. Her phenomenon is essentially an elongated Springsteen moment for humans with post-adolescent female emotions. I’m a 57-year-old heater Black guy who still likes to get out the old punk records.

Way different post-adolescent emotions.

More interestingly, just as Donald Trump couldn’t have won if he was a brunette, Taylor Swift could not be on this historic, transformative run if her hair was dark. Never mind her skin. In the numbers game that is Western pop, she’s got the biggest slice of relatability pie. It’s been in America’s makeup to worship whiteness.

This stuff merits interrogation, so that’s why I was super-bummed by former ESPN-er Cari Champion’s documentary. Taking on Taylor Swift concerns an allegation of Black music theft in the mold of what Led Zeppelin did to Willie Dixon. The allegation is that the chorus to Swift’s breakthrough hit “Shake It Off” is a rip-off.

Problematically, the alleged source material—a generic bit from 3LW’s minor hit “Playas Gon’ Play”— is completely unconvincing. I wouldn’t have given those songwriters the sweat off my balls if I’d written “Shake It Off” and they’d accused me of bitin’ that line.

Taking on Taylor Swift then places a tuxedo of true racialized history on one turd of a case. America’s habitual ripping off Black artists is here used on behalf of a case where no theft has happened. This opportunistic product diminishes actual criminality, trivializes it.

And that’s probably the last thing you’ll hear me say in defense of Taylor Swift. The bitch doesn’t need me; she’s got her own army.

And now for the stories that have stuck with me from last week.

10 Aaron Rodgers can fully eat a dick

In his ongoing bid for Joe Rogan’s sloppy seconds, Aaron Rodgers last month trolled Travis Kelce as “Mr. Pfizer,” for being in a TV ad for the shot. Appearing on the extremely popular Pat McAfee podcast, Rodgers offered to debate the highly-visible Kansas City Chiefs tight end and podcaster.

Last week folks learned that McAfee is paying Rodgers millions of dollars to appear on his show.

These are the days of norms erosion. I’ve a consciousness of the change in these times. And probably Aaron Rodgers should be considered as much an entertainer as a news source. Who’s to say whether a year from now I’ll be saying yes to sources like the recent one who asked if they could be paid for my interview?

None of that lets Rodgers off the hook. Here are the reasons why this profiteer—who majored in American Studies at Cal and ought to know better—should eat a crusty, uncircumcised cock:
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